Ben Schwartz was born and raised in sunny Berkeley, California. When Khy Manuso showed up there sometime in 2004, they became fast friends. The following summer, she dragged him off to Advanced Camp, and his world was changed forever. The two of them went on to found Westfinder the following year.
Induction into the Knights of Nick FederEdit
Ben Schwartz was born in the 16th century in a small cottage on the outside wall of the 80th floor of the Empire State Building, but was raised in a cemetery in Northern California. How was he raised? From the dead.
- Schism I
- The Refugees
- The Penultimate Waypoint
- Wizards' Wager
- Factory Town
- Too Soon Forgotten
- Beyond the Veil
- Ghosts of Eden
The Prince's BodyguardEdit
- Game: Advanced Camp: Underworld
Somehow managed to survive the whole game, until getting cut in half by the Lord of the Underworld while sitting out of the final battle defending the Prince.
- Game: Advanced Camp: New World Order
Wore bright tan in a rogues' game, not having realized what it was. Wound up deep behind enemy lines, hiding under his best friend's corpse. Escaped through the woods with severe psychological scarring.
- Game: Advanced Camp: The Zodiac Wars
A member of the air tribe, and the only Libra in game, Ame was a total hippie. Left his group to go chill with the half-animal Forgotten halfway through game. After narrowly surviving being lit on fire by Aries, Ame went on to help avert the final battle entirely by convincing Loki to consider peace.
- Game: Advanced Camp: The Immortal City
The only one with a hammer, he would've been useful against the slicing-proof bad guys. However, he was a pacifist. An old war veteran ended up knocking him out and taking his hammer.
- Game: Advanced Camp: Compass Island
Gave a wonderful performance in the stage adaptation of the backstory of the world during night game, and was paid for it by in cursed pirate gold. Along with the other three actors, became a demon at the end of night game. Killed the Butterfly King with the Earthquake Hammer. Spent most of day game searching for the demon pirate king and putting on short plays for the guards, who outnumbered the demons four to one. Was killed about thirty seconds into the final battle by a giant praying mantis.
Dr. Hans UberschneggerEdit
- Game: Community Weekend 1:Ninja-Pirates on Mad Scientist Zombie Island
A quantum physicist in a lab full of biologists. Held hostage by Jacob Perlman and mind-controlled into getting the boat key. He and Perlman were the only survivors of the zombocalypse.
- Game: Intro 2: Elmendor Pt. 2: The Soul Tree
A vicious con artist from Fennery, CEO of the Blue Water Corp. Tricked the good guys into thinking he was still with them, while in fact all of Fennery had defected to the witches. Smuggled information to Lord Andrew and allowed him to essentially control the game. Over the course of the game, betrayed every single other character at least once, including Re. Wound up an immortal demigod of wealth.
Something of a ladies man. Very upset when his younger brother turned out to have magic and he didn't get any.
The bard of the Gaules, and worst singer in the land. It was a game convention that people had to drop and cover their ears when he sang. Managed to personally sing a song at Caesar and sung a boar to death. Spent most of the game unconscious at the hands of his friends.
Did pleasant priesty things before discovering the hard way that zombies are immune to crosses.
A minute out of Re, crossed paths with Bane, the vampire lord, and joined the first crop of vampires. Had an epic fight with a zombie in the woods, and then joined the attack on the townspeople. Unfortunately, they all had crosses, garlic, and/or silver. Was, in rapid succession: stabbed in the hip with the True Cross, slashed in the arm by the Scythe of Gabriel, and finally personally blessed by the illegitimate son of the Pope.
A gay prostitute turned tarot mage, and member of the tarot cult. Survived the final battle, and tagged along with the twins Doe and Rae, who had stolen the ultimate tarot deck. The three of them went off to rule the underworld.
- Main article: Nod
A Battle Priest of the Stone BullEdit
A peace-lover in a tribe of warriors, he conspired with a brother and sister from his enemy tribe against the leaders of both tribes. However, that entire plotline was forgotten when the dark elves showed up. Had lots of fun in the battles running around reverse healing folk. Ended with an epic showdown against the evil queen's pageboy, who was armed with throwing knives. The demon tackled the priest, and the two died together, of a slit neck and a cause critical wound to the spine. It was epic.
A nine-year-old geek from Ecole Bilingue. Started game very upset that his DS was out of batteries, but was quickly distracted by a guy who studied lasers. Along with his best friend, managed to get apprentice to Piper, the toymaker. Had a wonderful time ordering the toy soldiers around ("It's just like Warcraft III, only cooler!"), and quickly befriended the chessmen. He stayed there, playing chess, until mere moments before game was called. Theoretically he may still be there, though he probably got bored eventually.
I'm still not sure what Re was in that game. I had shiny white and gold clothes, and brought people back to life. It was a pretty generic Re.
A Templar Paladin, Roland stayed behind to hold off the demons while the others fled. After being killed by a few fireballs to the face, the Preferati came to him and tried to convince him to join them. After asking for a sign from the heavens to help him, Roland saw five shooting stars pass between the Preferati (Seriously! It was awesome!). He took this as a sign, and joined them as a fallen paladin. He met the Archangel, who told him that as long as there were stars in the sky, there would be hope and good in his heart. Unfortunately, her blessing turned out to be a dark one, as the fog rolled in and blinked out the stars, one by one. God missed his chance, calling for all those still loyal to him to step forward, mere moments after the last star winked out. Roland was wounded in the final battle by the Templar he had betrayed, and chose to give his life to save one of the Preferati who had turned him, of his own free will.
Serious geek and best friend of Isaac Newton. Had all sorts of delightful drama around his middle school ex-girlfriend, Luna, her very popular boyfriend Colin, and one of the techies, Rose. He spent a lot of his time mocking Rose brutally, because he couldn't deal with his crush on her. After being convinced by Blue Moon that it wasn't just a very elaborate LARP, Nathan reveled in going to the dream realm, as it was totally a real-life quest. His favorite roleplays come to life. It went downhill, though, as he encountered his mother, who had seen strangled to death years before. He overcame his fear of the nightmare, and helped keep Luna and Rose safe. Eventually, though, Rose was killed, away from Nathan, and he spent the rest of the game looking for. Nathan almost got in a fight with Colin after Colin got overly protective of Luna and wouldn't let Nathan near, but Luna made them stand down. He and Luna led the unarmed students in a rousing chorus of Here Comes the Sun near the end of the game, to hold off the nightmares. Armed only with his own fearlessness, Nathan walked through the final battle singing. He was cut down by a nightmare mid-chorus, and was avenged by an enraged Colin, in a beautiful end to their story arc. He's currently wandering the afterlife, looking for Rose, so that he can apologize.
PRINCE of the Swashbuckling Guild, Jerry was completely ridiculous. A professional adventurer and all-around awesome fellow, Jerry enjoyed himself thoroughly. While not actually stupid, Jerry was severely lacking in common sense, and completely fell for a plot organized by a very shiny thief to frame several other guilds for the theft of the "dragonseye gemirald." At the end of of night game, he proposed to Nira, one of the companions, while riding the flying carpet high above the city. It was adorable. During the night, he sleepwalked to the moon, where he encountered DEMONS! He befriended them, and tagged along when the Vizier summoned them back to Earth. He quickly escaped and rather redundantly informed everyone else--DEMONS FROM THE MOON! He spent the rest of game wandering around apologizing to moon demons and then killing them, and trying to figure out how many experience points he was getting.
- Main article: Nod
Was this even a character? Technically a traitor to the Gods... Zhirafi didn't really do anything except try to explain to the PCs at the end that more, not-evil Gods would be coming through the portal soon, and then got shot in the face by Dr. Carisi. He was basically an excuse for me to be outside the flow and try to reassemble it after it totally collapsed.
- Game: International Camp: Heresy
With his two pages (Moo ten Broeke and Oliver Kalb), he was on a special mission from the Vatican to kill a Shaman from the distant lands, who was with the Templar. After several vicious confrontations, the Shaman escaped downriver on a boat. The Paladin was one of only two characters in the game with any magic, the other being the Shaman.
- Game: International Camp: The Archidamian War
He accidentally got roped into being a soldier for Thebes while observing the military for an upcoming role as a soldier. While in captivity, put on a re-enactment of Ajax and the Lion for the benefit of Ajax, which distracted Ajax long enough for his friends to free him. Survived relatively intact, though very scared.
The Village LeaderEdit
- Game: International Camp: Into the Depths
The head of the local Cuban village. Waited behind to clean up the workshop, theoretically to be found by the revolutionaries so they could see where the dynamite was and what do with it. They failed to find him, so he went back and found his daughter. Eventually, the local liaison found him and they went looking for revolutionaries. One of them almost stabbed him, and the liaison brought him in for questioning. Eventually he returned to his villagers to find them very drunk and scaring off revolutionaries. After a young one (ALEX!) pulled a gun on him, he took his villagers and they all ran off into the jungle.
An Original PunkEdit
- Game: International Camp: No Fun
He got pretty drunk. At one point he passed out on the back porch.
- Game: International Camp: First and Last
A teenager, student, loner, and very quiet kid. After his father was killed abroad, his mother had gone to take care of his aging grandmother in Tokyo, and both were killed in the firebombing. He spent most of game watching people quietly, thinking about the futility of life. When the air raid siren came, it was a convenient excuse to skip school. He went and did what he always does--found a quiet patch of grass on which to lie down, and watch the sky, and think. He felt the grass on his back and the sun on his skin, and lay there until he died.
Domis Recent D'DomskoiEdit
An up-and-coming blue gangleader, and all-around psychopath. Wound up getting in a fight with a red called Dirge, sparking a rivalry that would last years...
- Game: Westfinder March Bootlegs: Dresden 1 and 3
A spirit of air and intellect, and a very horny one at that. Hit on girls, put up wards, and wound up getting freed unintentionally by He Who Walks Behind. Epic times were had.
The creator spirit of the South and the Sea. Wise, an observer. Spent most of game simply watching and listening, but spoke up at the very end to help with the creation of the first human. Gave his body to the task, dying in the process, leaving his essence to the currents of the sea.
Dr. Vijaya KasimovEdit
The hands-on organizer of the... game. Worked with Dr. Stein to do the whole thing. Had previously spent thirty years forcibly serving as a Ukrainian secret service operative, and being a general atrocity-committing murderous asshole. Got karma his own way.
You are an Atlantian mage. When you were a child your chicken frolicked in a happy garage corner and it made you feel trepidation so you decided to skip and hop. Recently the slotted spoon started to drink and you hot sauced inadequately.
A mad-lib. Straight-up. Complete gibberish. Had gotten flicked in the head by Hades for trying to rescue his pet chicken's soul from the underworld. Ran into Hermes at one point, who thought he was hilarious, and gave him the ability to fly. But then some random evil spirit shanked him because he was annoying. Whoops.
Kagerou the TorchEdit
The Eldest Fire Kami in Nippon, and Keeper of the Gaiden Shrine. Spent the first bunch of game meditating and watching over the shrine, and having Miho compose haiku about the stars and such. When Susano shew up, demanding the orbs from the Shrine, Kagerou gave them to him on the condition that the Shrine not be harmed. Unsatisfied that his request would be listened to, Kagerou went with Susano to further talk with him. Susano had Kagerou tell the Tempests the story of what had happened to their father, Zaku--he had gone mad, and Kagerou had been forced to kill him. Susano was so moved by the story that he promised that as long as it was in his power to do so, he would make sure the Shrine was always kept safe.
Later, Kagerou found that his lover, Hotaru, had returned from the underworld as a demon. With the help of Sendril, he restored her memories and was reunited with her. Susano attempted to make him perform a ritual to bless all of his followers' weapons with magic, but Kagerou schemed with Tsunade to intentionally mess up the ritual. They wound up delaying long enough that everything got wankety as Izanami and Izanagi shew up. In order to help combat the corrupted beings, Kagerou finished the ritual anyway.
In the final battle, he once more took up his beast mask, and reclaimed his original title: Kagerou the Phoenix. He combined his mask with Zaku's Hawk Mask, creating the perfected mask. He used its power to find corrupted souls and purify them, resurrecting them from their own ashes.
In the end, he oversaw the signing of the new Lunar Decrees, was reunited with the freed Hotaru, and lived with her and his three children in the Gaiden Shrine happily ever after. Seriously. Happiest ending ever.
Doctor Octavian Von CobbEdit
Magus of the HeartEdit
- Game: Hardcore Camp: Pax Aeternus
Ben Schwartz is awesome. This is the sole topic of this section.Edit
Ben Schwartz once divided by 0, twice. He can recite Pi to one number, one whole number. Ben Schwartz has been more than human since several years before he was born. Ben Schwartz once tried to market his sweat as an energy drink but was sued by the makers of Cocaine for trying to recreate trade secrets. He settled out of court using his energy legs.
Ben Schwartz is the Concept of Awesome. That is simply all there is to it.
Note: Ben Schwartz's hair is actually a separate being, not controlled by his body at all. It is unclear whether he realizes this or not.
Ben is an encyclopedia of everything.
- Rule #1: The Ben Schwartz is always right.
- Rule #2: If the Ben Schwartz is wrong, please refer to Rule #1.
- Rule #3: If the Ben Schwartz is still wrong, you are not talking to Ben Schwartz. You are talking to his evil robot impostor clone. Run.