The Family Twist meets to find out why it is still Fall and February at the same time.
“Stand still, you little troll!”
“Gods, you’re a bad shot! And don't forget, Sis, our cousin IS a troll.”
Arrows flew through the air like a swarm of angry hornets. Priceless paintings of noble lords, ancient tapestries of battles between dragons and phoenixes, marble busts of unicorns and knights all shattered and broke under the storm of ranged weaponry. The vaulted ceilings, towering bay windows and cavernous passageways of Castle Twist rang with shouted curses and the flashing screeches of magic.
Alanna Twist, her leather armor strapped tightly to her muscled form, ran across the ruby-studded floor of the Grand Hall, her longbow grasped in her gauntleted hand. Arrows flew from her bow faster than the beating of a wasp’s wing, as her brother, Drake Twist, appeared and reappeared at will, his tongue poking out of his mouth, his chiseled features twisted in a mocking grin. Drake’s longcoat and jerkin were torn by all the near-misses of his sister’s arrows. Of course, most of this was impossible to see, as he kept discorporating into black, smoky whirlwinds, teleporting all over the room, dodging arrows.
Drake appeared crouched on a dragon skull, suspended from chains to the ceiling far above. Alanna let loose another volley, and Drake appeared behind Alanna, tapping her on the shoulder, giggling. Alanna turned around, swinging a fist, and was met only by smoke and laughter.
“I’m going to kill you!” cried Alanna.
“Not very polite of you. But then again, it’s to be expected; when you spend more time in the company of horses than most stablehands you’re bound to develop some social problems.”
Drake ran along the walls, disappearing at random intervals, as arrows whipped behind him, shattering windows and cracking stone.
“At least horses don’t prance around the Castle fawning on idiot sorcerers, talking about balls and masquerades until they’re blue in the face!” Drake appeared now at the beginning of a small, red passageway, leading to the dungeons. “If you’re referring to the Princess Sylvia, I’ll have you know she’s a great conversationalist.”
“You do much talking then?”
Drake smiled roguishly, “Not so much, no. If what we do in private interests you, however, I suggest you start wearing dresses, and bathing more frequently. Maybe you’ll have your first kiss before your nineteenth year.”
“I’ve kissed more people than you have!”
Drake arched an eyebrow. “Not counting horses?”
Alanna howled, and fired five arrows in one draw of her bowstring. Drake twirled and disappeared, laughing… and the five arrows slammed into the broad chest of the Lord of the Castle, Tiernan Twist.
Alanna dropped her bow to her side, her mouth agape. Drake swung from a chandelier, his eyes wide, and he gave a low whistle. “Oooooohhh… you’re in troooooubbbllee!!!!”
Tiernan Twist was a grizzled old man. He wore a suit of black, spiked armor with skulls set into the knee plates. A dark red cape swirled behind him, a greatsword strapped to his back. His face was scarred, his cheeks gaunt, as though he had spent a great deal of time in the company of some very foul creatures. The Black Knight, Alanna and Drake’s father, reached up to one of the five arrows embedded through his armor and into his chest, and ripped out one, examining it with some confusion.
“You’ve shot me… why have you done this?”
“Father, I’m so sorry! Drake was being…”
“I do not care what Drake was doing… I need a smith to repair my armor… and a cleric. Yes, I believe some healing is in order.” Blood dripped off the arrow, and Tiernan scowled, and marched across the room. “Let us only pray your mother does not find out. She’s in enough of a state as it is.”
“So I’m not in trouble?”
“Good gods, no. Wouldn’t be fair--your brother Emmet broke my skull when he was four and we only sent him to bed early. Didn’t let him have extra biscuits at dinner, you see. S’when we first realized he’d become a berserker. Hell, the first time I met your mother, I was trying to kill her. Luckily for the both of us, she was quicker than me.” As Tiernan continued to march, dripping blood on the floor, Alanna followed him, and Drake appeared next to her, walking as well. The two of them glared at one another, a silent promise to continue this later.
“What’s mom all worked up about?” asked Drake, as the trio began to ascend a spiral staircase in the western tower.
“Family meeting. At the Summer Cottage. The whole world’s in an uproar again.”
“Why?” asked Alanna.
“The whole Autumn business. Next week it’ll be time for the Thaw, and the leaves still haven’t fallen from the trees.”
“Any idea what the cause is?” inquired Drake.
“Hell if I know. Everyone’s invited to help think of an answer though. Uncle Joseph is coming, of course. He’s furious, as usual. Jack’s going to be there, Klein and his new wife. Even Olivia’s on her way.”
“I thought she was trapped in a dimension of shadows forever?” asked Alanna.
“Nope. Not anymore.”
“How’d she get it out?”
Tiernan shrugged. “Magic, I suppose.”
“Right.” Said Drake.
“Regardless, Emmett’s bringing the Triplets. Their first adventure was about a year ago. The Winter King was trying to take over the world again, and they went to drive him back North.”
“Do you think the Triplets are responsible?”
“They’re Twists. Even if they didn’t do anything wrong, odds are they’re to blame. This family can’t seem to get out of bed without putting the world in harm’s way.”
“Luckily, we’re always around to save it,” quipped Drake.
The father and his two youngest children reached the top of the stairs, and opened a door emblazoned with a sword and staff, twisting around one another. A crest of a family that for generations had protected the world. The greatest family of adventurers and legends to have ever lived. And once again, it seem, they would need to gather. Paladins and Witches, Sorcerers and Bards, Archers and Thieves, all bound by the blood of the Family Twist: the most epically dysfunctional family of all time.
There was very little flow, this was a scenario.
Great^19 Uncle Rolibrinius Twist - Johan Sheridan
Alanna Twist (Senior) - Shelby Strauss
Tiernan Twist - Rueben Pacheco
- Alanna Twist - Molly Ostertag
- Drake Twist - Judson Packard
- Milo Twist - Jasper Weinburd
- Neive Twist - Hannah Fordin
- Deirdre Twist -
Olivia Twist - Miranda Tenbroeke
- Shilo - Dylan Scott
- Taj -
Jack Twist - John Dermety
Klein Twist - Michael Joseph Grant, V
- Melinthia, Queen of the Elves - Claire Louge
- Elianoch ( "Aunt Baby" ) Twist - Airhorn
- Tom Cat - Julian Berman
- Silas - Jacob Vestergaard
- Cynthia Chatham - Penny Weber
Joseph Twist - Brennan Lee Mulligan
- Helia Twist - Victoria Howland
The Empire of DarknessEdit
- The Winter King - Nick Feder
- Jayce, the Nightmare King - Jack Covell
- Lunavia, the Black Queen - Genevieve Casagrande
- Gareth Twist - Ed Kelly
- Ace of Spades -
- Queen of Hearts -
- Kate McBride, the Pirate Queen - Elan Kwiecinski
- George, King of Thieves -
- Prince Charming - Jon Miller
The Church of DarknessEdit
- Bishop Odren - Todd Kurta
- The Minister - Matthew Wright
- , Angel of Pride - Christ Niedt
- Chairon, Angel of Madness - David Gottsegen
- Baliphael, Angel of Despair - Hannah Rothman
- , Angel of Cruelty -
- , Angel of Tyranny -